20 Community Place Morristown, NJ 07960

Phone: (201) 486-2745

Note: The responses to these questions are not to be considered as legal advice or absolutes regarding mental health issues. More detailed legal questions should be submitted to attorneys and mental health questions should be submitted to appropriate mental health professionals.

How is the divorce process initiated?

How long does it generally take to complete the divorce process in New Jersey?

Do I have to have an attorney to begin the process?

What types of information will be required by the Court?

What are the time frames involved in the process?

What is a motion? Does every divorce require a trial?

Are there any services available through the Court to expedite the process? Is there a fee for these services?

How is child support determined? Is it automatic? What is alimony? Is everyone entitled to alimony? When does child support end? What about college expenses?

How is parenting time (custody) determined? What happens if parents can not reach agreement about custody/ parenting time? What is joint legal custody, sole custody, joint physical custody?
To what extent should children be involved in determining the custody/parenting time arrangement? What should children be told about the divorce? What are some of the most common mistakes made by parents with their children during the divorce process? What are typical reactions of children, based upon their ages, stages of development, other extraordinary factors, family history, etc.?

In all aspects, will the Judge be “fair” and “reasonable”? Will the Court learn the “truth”?

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What is mediation? How does the process work? Who is involved? Do attorneys participate? What is the difference if these issues are decided by agreement or by a Judge? How long does mediation take? Are there circumstances which would suggest that mediation would not be appropriate?

What happens if mediation is not successful? Does the mediator report to the Court, make recommendations to the Judge or testify about any case?

What will happen if an agreement is reached? Is it final, binding and immediately enforceable? What happens if one or both parents wish to revise the parenting time agreement long after the divorce has been finalized?

What are some examples of typical residential and parenting time arrangements? What are the factors to be considered in making decisions about the most appropriate arrangements for each family? What areas are most frequently addressed in these agreements? How much detail is required in any agreement? Are children ever involved in the mediation process?

What types of behavior by the parents will determine whether the children will do well or will do poorly in their adjustment to the entire divorce experience? What can the parents engage in and refrain from that might assist their children to respond more favorably? How are children most likely to respond if their parents reach agreement regarding custody/parenting time or if the Court is required to make all of these decisions? How is their parents’ post-judgment relationship affected by the manner in which this process is completed?

Is there information available, i.e. books, articles, handouts, videos, etc. on these topics?

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How do parents resolve disagreements about their children after the divorce has been finalized? Are there any alternatives to going back to Court every time there is a dispute? What are the typical obstacles to an efficient, orderly and predictable co-parenting relationship?

What is co-parent management and how does it work? Who is involved, can children participate? Are reports and/or recommendations made to the Court?

Are there ways to improve the climate for the children and the parents regarding implementation of the parenting time plan, decision making, communication, reduction of conflict, etc.?

Are there books, articles, handouts, videos, etc. on these topics?

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Pre-Divorce Education

How is the divorce process initiated?
The process is initiated by the filing of a complaint, based upon specific grounds as set forth by the state of New Jersey.

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How long does it generally take to complete the divorce process in New Jersey?
The goal of Administrative Office of the Courts is that a divorce should be completed in one year or less.

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Do I have to have an attorney to begin the process?
No. Litigants may represent themselves (Pro Se) and a manual for doing so is available on the Internet.

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What types of information will be required by the Court?
The discovery process requires disclosure of all information pertaining to property, economics and parenting time (custody).

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What are the time frames involved in the process?
After a divorce complaint is filed, an answer is required within thirty five days. Subsequently, the Case Management process includes dates regarding discovery, parenting time mediation, Early Settlement Panel, etc., all of which should be scheduled within six months of initial filing of the divorce complaint.

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What is a motion? Does every divorce require a trial?
A motion can be filed at any time after the divorce complaint has been filed to request interim (pendente lite) rulings by the Court regarding any pending issues. A trial is not required in every case. Approximately 99% of all divorce cases in New Jersey are settled without a trial.

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Are there any services available through the Court to expedite the process? Is there a fee for these services?
The Court provides services such as the Early Settlement Panel to address economic issues and parenting time mediation. These programs are free in most counties in New Jersey. There may be fees involved in some counties for parenting time mediation. Some counties in New Jersey have a pilot program for economic mediation for which the first three hours are free, with a fee being required thereafter.

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How is child support determined, is it automatic? What is alimony? Is everyone entitled to alimony? When does child support end? What about college expenses?
Child support is an automatic responsibility for both parents and is determined by federal guidelines (available on the Internet). Alimony is support paid by one spouse to the other and is not automatic, but is determined by specific circumstances on a case to case basis. Child support ends when a child is considered to be emancipated based upon several factors. College expenses are considered on a case to case basis as well.

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How is parenting time (custody) determined? What happens if parents can not reach agreement about custody/ parenting time? What is joint legal custody, sole custody, joint physical custody? To what extent should children be involved in determining the custody/parenting time arrangement? What should children be told about the divorce? What are some of the most common mistakes made by parents with their children during the divorce process? What are typical reactions of children, based upon their ages, stages of development, other extraordinary factors, family history,etc.?
The custody issues are determined by what is termed the “best interests” of the minor children. If the parents are unable to resolve these issues on their own, the Court may refer the matter to mediation or order investigation/evaluation if necessary. Joint legal custody and sole custody refer to the options which might be considered with respect to significant decisions about minor children. Joint physical custody refers to the possibility of children spending roughly half of the time living with each parent. Questions regarding the involvement of the children in the process, when and what they should be told, how children may respond to the divorce process, common mistakes made by parents, etc., are variable from case to case and should be addressed in that manner. (General information regarding typical behavior is available through the mediation process).

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In all aspects, will the Judge be “fair” and “reasonable”? Will the Court learn the “truth”?
Each parent’s perception of fairness, reasonableness and what is right is usually quite subjective, based upon each parent’s perceptions. Similarly, each parent’s version of the truth may vary. A crusade to establish the truth in a divorce may result in a more protracted, expensive and emotionally draining experience.

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Custody/Parenting Time Mediation

What is mediation? How does the process work? Who is involved? Do attorneys participate? What is the difference if these issues are decided by agreement or by a Judge? How long does mediation take? Are there circumstances which would suggest that mediation would not be appropriate?
Mediation is an alternative which is available to parents in resolving issues associated with divorce proceedings. The process is confidential, will not usually involve attorneys in parenting time mediation (attorneys more likely to be involved in economic mediation). Mediation allows more input and control of the outcome by the parents, minimizes the possibility of strangers making these decisions, reduces legal fees, and helps parents to improve problem-solving skills. Factors which might make mediation inappropriate are allegations regarding domestic violence, child abuse, alcohol/drug abuse or mental illness.

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What happens if mediation is not successful? Does the mediator report to the Court, make recommendations to the Judge or testify about any case?
Mediation is confidential. If an agreement is not reached, no recommendation, report or other detailed information is made known to the Court, attorneys or any other persons involved in the case.

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What will happen if an agreement is reached? Is it final, binding and immediately enforceable? What happens if one or both parents wish to revise the parenting time agreement long after the divorce has been finalized?
If an agreement is reached, a memorandum of understanding is prepared and signed by the parents, subject to review with their respective attorneys. It is not binding or enforceable until it becomes part of an order signed by a Judge.

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What are some examples of typical residential and parenting time arrangements? What are the factors to be considered in making decisions about the most appropriate arrangements for each family? What areas are most frequently addressed in these agreements? How much detail is required in any agreement? Are children ever involved in the mediation process?
Parenting time arrangements vary according to the ages of the children, distance between the parents’ residences, work schedules, children’s activities, their personalities, any special needs and their relationship with each parent. Decision making, residence and schedule, holidays and vacation time are the areas which are generally addressed. It is normally beneficial to be quite specific in addressing each of these topics, especially in the initial stages of establishing separate residences. Children may be involved in the mediation, if deemed necessary by the mediator and if agreed upon by the parents.

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What types of behavior by the parents will determine whether the children will do well or will do poorly in their adjustment to the entire divorce experience? What can the parents engage in and refrain from that might assist their children to respond more favorably? How are children most likely to respond if their parents reach agreement regarding custody/parenting time or if the Court is required to make all of these decisions? How is their parents’ post-judgment relationship affected by the manner in which this process is completed?
Generally, children respond best when they are not exposed to conflicts between the parents and an expeditious resolution to all of the issues associated with a divorce. They usually respond best to having continuous access to each parent, support by each parent for a relationship with the other parent, minimal or no discussion about the details and reasons for the divorce, elimination of negative statements by either parent about the other. Children generally respond best to circumstances which include resolution by the parents rather than a Court-imposed decision in that they may view their parent as responsible adults who may continue to make decisions without having to turn to strangers to do so.

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Is there information available, i.e. books, articles, handouts, videos, etc. on these topics?
There is a plethora of information available on the Internet, book stores, libraries, etc. to help educate parents and children about dealing with the separation and divorce process as well as groups and organizations to assist families in these areas.

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Co-Parent Management

How do parents resolve disagreements about their children after the divorce has been finalized? Are there any alternatives to going back to Court every time there is a dispute? What are the typical obstacles to an efficient, orderly and predictable co-parenting relationship?
Ideally, parents are able to resolve issues on their own. If they are unable to do so, they have the right to file motions with the Court to address these matters. Alternatively, they may submit the issuers to mediation and/or engage a parent coordinator or co-parent manager to assist in resolving these issues. A parent coordinator may be required to report to the Court, whereas co-parent management may be confidential. The most common obstacles to an orderly relationship are conflict, anger, poor communication and non-compliance with agreements and/or court orders.

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What is co-parent management and how does it work? Who is involved, can children participate? Are reports and/or recommendations made to the Court?
Co-parent management provides a forum for parents to resolve issues about their children through discussion, improving communication techniques and compromise in order to avoid litigation. The process involves the parents and the co-parent manager. Children may be involved as deemed appropriate by the manager and by agreement of the parents. The process is confidential and no report, recommendations or details of the process are made to the Court, attorneys or any other persons involved in the case. If the process results in an agreement between the parents which they want to use to modify an existing court order, such an agreement may be prepared by the manager.

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Are there ways to improve the climate for the children and the parents regarding implementation of the parenting time plan, decision making, communication, reduction of conflict, etc.?
Education for parents regarding the manner in which their children are impacted by their behavior; steps that might be taken to reduce the negative aspects of the parents’ relationship and their children’s perceptions of that relationship, establishment of common goals for improving the co-parenting environment.

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Are there books, articles, handouts, videos, etc. on these topics?
The same resources as contained in the FAQ section on Custody/Parenting Time Mediation.

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